Bruises and broken bones. These are the two things that come to mind most often when we think of the signs of domestic violence, but domestic violence is more than just being physically abused.
If you feel that something just isn’t right in your relationship, or you are concerned about a loved one, here are the signs to look for:
3 Signs of Domestic Violence
Oftentimes, physical abuse creeps in slowly. A shove during an argument, a slap or kick here or there, almost always followed by an extravagant apology and swearing it will never happen again. Until it does.
This type of behavior can escalate over time or it can progress rapidly. As it becomes more frequent, the abuser will almost always deflect blame to the victim. “You shouldn’t have made me mad”, “You should’ve known that would set me off”, “You’re crazy”... you, you, you.
And then they try to make a good case for themselves, causing you to question yourself. Did you mishear? Misunderstand? Was that shove that big of a deal? Eventually, you end up being the one apologizing for causing the abuse.
Apologies from the abuser will soon become less frequent, and as the abuse worsens, the abuser will do whatever they can to prevent you from calling the police or seeking medical attention. They may even use weapons to threaten you or threaten to harm someone you care about.
Physical abuse can also be carried out by controlling your body – what you eat, when you sleep, forcing you to drink or do drugs.
It can happen by forcing you to have sex, sometimes involving non-consensual violent intercourse writing it off as a fetish and accusing you as being “unaccepting” of who they are when you voice that you don’t want to participate.
We all say things we don't mean from time to time, but if your partner regularly puts you down and makes you question your self worth, that’s psychological abuse.
Emotional abuse can be isolative, can involve gaslighting and can accompany the aspect of physical abuse where the abuser convinces you that you are to blame for the abuse.
If your partner acts overly jealous, it’s not cute or just another way they show they care. When they control who you are friends with and when/if you can see them, forcing you to feel more like a pawn than a partner, that’s abuse.
If you’re married or in a long term relationship, combining your household finances comes with the territory. But when your partner begins to control how you spend it, or no longer lets you have access to the bank account, this is another form of abuse.
Maybe your partner instead refuses to contribute to the household bills or frequently takes money from you without your permission creating undue physical and emotional stress on you; this is also abuse.
If any of the above fit the description of your relationship, then we encourage you to seek help. These types of behaviors do not improve with time, they only get worse.
Please find a safe person you can talk to in order to get you out of this situation. There are domestic violence shelters that will help you with an emergency place to stay and connect you with people who can help you obtain legal help.
At freshie we know that women empowered through education and support, will change our world for the better, so we created our 'freshie-start' initiative where $1 from every freshie unit sold online gets donated to nonprofits that empower and support women.
Your purchase of freshie Natural Feminine Wash is making a difference in the lives of victims and survivors of domestic violence as we are currently making donations to NMIC’s support services. Thank you for supporting our efforts through your purchases!